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Not Everyone Wishes You Well

by Vital Nerve

/
1.
Everything that you said to me  And the things you did are fucking dead to me And it kills me to think that a friendship could sink So goddamn fucking fast I don't even think my shoulder  could get anymore colder It'll stay this way until my hate gets older I take some pills to stay to stay awake on the floor So I could stay up later and hate you some more If you can't already tell I'm still bitter as hell.
2.
How can I forget the things I regret When the weight of the world lays on my chest Smiling seems so foriegn I must confess And I'd give my life to put this pain to rest   Take a look at my apartment building and you’ll see a fucking light on I cant sleep, just think about the things that I’ve done wrong Three thirty in the morning, I’m on the ledge of my building My latest obsessions Is falling deep in depression Losing sleep, contemplating my mortality letting things get the best of me Over-analyzing everything And this schedule goes on for weeks And it brings me to my fucking knees “At this very moment, I wish I were dead. I just can’t cope anymore” Just like Ian Curtis said.
3.
Fair-weather friends in this city I’m in This place is fucking littered with them A piss poor excuse for somebody who cares But when I need someone, no one is ever there High hopes in low places Same dreams with familiar faces Your life is yours, do as you please But I’m gone, cause this place was never home for me Live the life of mediocrity Just doesn’t sit right with me But as soon as I leave, you turn your back on me Fuck me for living life to the fullest The days I want to end so quick feels like they take god damn years But I want to escape this place so bad It’s the breeding ground for my greatest fear The fear of settling for less The way my ‘friends’ all did These flickering street lights  should give up on this town Cause this place is worthless It’s better off burned to the fucking ground.
4.
These lies are spread thin For thousands of years The same stories told Instilled in brainwashed ears Like sheep to the slaughter Submit your life to faith The world spins fucking fast We're running out of time From the dawn of humanity We never knew like this Destroying all the miscreants For opening their eyes   Following this path of endless oppression The lies leading the blind No savior to catch me when I fall No savior to catch me at the end of it all.
5.
These blackened nights, burnt out lights Morning gripes, and the bare walls surrounding Are the only things in my life That haven’t left me   I've fallen so far from where I want to be how much failure can one man see As of late, I’ve been staying at home Drinking late, sleeping alone So I'll start drinking, and I'll stop thinking And drown these memories ‘Cause I’m not stopping, I’m not stopping I’m not fucking stopping till the pain goes away Or until I pass out Which ever comes first, which ever comes first And I know I'll feel the pain when I wake again So I’ll say a toast and fucking hope that I never wake up again I still blame you for everything Everything was all your fault Just open your mouth, swallow the fucking truth And take it with a grain of fucking salt I still blame you for everything I still blame you I used to think the world about you Now I wish the world was without you You left me with nothing But these burnt out lights and blackened nights I can’t explain to you, the feeling inside of me You would never understand And just for me to get a fucking ounce of sleep I have to finish the ounces from the flask in my hand.

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released January 11, 2011

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Vital Nerve San Francisco, California

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